Yesterday I was having lunch with great friends and we were discussing how no one's life is perfect and there is no point in trying to project that we live the perfect life. I just wanted to share this sentiment and share my imperfections and struggles. On this blog I share the fun we have and nearly all of it is showing the "perfect" side of my family. However, I never want anyone to think I think we are perfect; we are far from it. In fact, as I'm writing this Emily is whining and whining. Something I'm dealing with more and more these days. I have days that are so long and some days I just don't think I'll make it to dinner time when Kevin gets home. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world and I don't think moms get enough credit or enough help.
My biggest struggle is patience. I'm always multi-tasking and my patience runs very thin most of the time. When I'm busy and Madi is fussy and Emily starts whining I struggle with disciplining and parenting the right/compassionate way. I've been working on the virtue of patience ever since I can remember but it's become more of a goal lately. I pray very often about increasing my patience, kindness and understanding. Praying is very important but I also think that we need outlets and breaks to stay sane. I think taking care of ourselves is super important because it makes us better moms and wives. I think it's quite common for moms to take care of themselves last (I'm totally guilty of this) but I'm learning that is a vicious cycle and we help no one by not taking care of ourselves. I am super blessed with a husband who sees the importance in this and is always willing to take care of the girls while I go out to dinner with friends or go to happy hour, etc. I'm trying to make it part of my normal routine to have some alone time or time away from the house. I hope no one sees this as selfish and I struggle with mom guilt but I truly believe this makes me a better mom and wife. This idea leads to another life long struggle for me-caring what other people think. I frequently do things to please other people or do things because its what society thinks is right. For example, silly things like when I NEED to take a binkie or bottle away because it's not socially acceptable beyond ____age. A friend of mine joked about "living one life and just doing me for once." We laughed about it but there is some serious truth to this!
Another one of my struggles is perfectionism and OCD. I want everything to be perfect all of the time and I'm super hard on myself if things are not just right. However, kids have forced me to let some things go. A sub issue of perfectionism is not wanting to ask for help. I'm also learning that I just have to ask for help or I won't survive ( happily anyways).
I started this blog to document our lives and share the "fun" we are having but it quickly turned into an outlet for me and something I really enjoy. Part of the outlet aspect is sharing the real stuff. Today was one of those days. I know I'm not the only one who struggles and I hope by sharing some of my downfalls it will help others to let things go and stop beating ourselves up.
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